Fate and Misery -- PROLOGUE-Post Thor:TDW
by AsgardianAnata
Summary: Just a bit of fanfiction. Contains spoilers. Set in Asgard AFTER The Dark World. A bit of a love triangle and conflicted emotions. Loki x OC x Fandral
1. Prologue

{{Side note: this was originally was supposed to be a short little couple of paragraphs to how my character acts to Loki's death. But I liked it too much. So I'm making it a short story. Also, the may be a bit of OOC but I'm trying to get it as close as I can. SPOILERS! Don't read if you haven't read Thor: The Dark World. May contain sex in future chapters but that won't be for a VERY long while. Contains cuss words and depression. recommended for mature audiences of 16+. Please enjoy~! Keep in mind that this is nothing more than a fanfiction and is in no way meant to offend or change the plot of the story. I do not own Marvel or Loki... no matter how much I'd like to own that gorgeous ass.}}

_**Prologue**_

Alex stood beside Darcy, talking about random and irrelevant crap. Jane had disappeared with Thor without so much as a word and it sort of pissed Alex off. It left her and Darcy stuck with the new intern of an intern and a man who had just basically ripped his pants off with the excuse of it helping him think.

Truth was, the only reason she had teamed up with Jane after the whole New York incident was because of Loki. She had met the God of Mischief on SHIELD's "flying secret base," as she liked to call it. Tony Stark was the reason she had gotten on that ship, though. He knew what she had been going through before that point and had her come aboard. Of course, Nick Fury hadn't been so pleased by that action due to the fact that it was a bit of a "surprise visit."

She had taken an opportunity during the night of Loki's short time on that ship to take a look for herself. Alex had met Thor, the God of Thunder and was completely honored but, she still craved to meet the god whose stories have always been her favorite. And there she stood, in the doorway of a wide room and a glass prison.

The man who was watching Loki at the time stood. "What are you doing here?" He questioned.

She smiled kindly at him. "Don't worry. I'm with the Avengers. Relax."

"You can't-"

"See this badge?" She asked in a rhetorical fashion, cutting him off as she pointed to the badge she had clipped to the pocket of her leather jacket. "It says I can."

The man just sighed and gave a fake, half-assed smile.

Loki had to have been the most beautiful thing her eyes had ever seen in all of her life. Those deep green eyes stared right into her soul. Her heart had fluttered and skipped a beat in a fashion that physically hurt when he looked at her. She had almost forgotten that the guard was standing right next to her until he had cleared his throat.

Alex tried her best to not seem so flustered. "So, this is… Loki?" She asked as she glanced back towards the god.

"Yeah. Bastard's getting his ass sent back home as soon as possible."

The guard went on to explain what he had done but Alex didn't hear a word of it. She already knew what he did on Earth, on Midgard. And yes, people died. But as heartless as it may seem, she didn't care. This was the god that had taken her interest since she was a child, since she had first heard his name. And it was perfect timing when the guard had asked her to keep an eye on Loki while said guard went to the bathroom. Alex took the opportunity to make her way up to the glass. His height dwarfed her 5ft 2in stature. Goosebumps creeped up her skin as he looked down at her from the other side of that glass as she introduced herself.

Something had clicked as they had talked and despite Alex's very hatred for the emotion, she had fallen for him and she was sure he knew. She never thought he could ever feel the same way. He was a god and she was a mere mutant in a human world whose only ability was to kill.

The guard had come back complaining about the guy who had the next shift who wasn't going to make it. Alex offered to take that shift and the guard, being exhausted from the day, hesitantly accepted the offer.

She told Loki everything about her that night and he listened and watched her as she spoke. She told him how she admired the his stories, whether they be accurate or not. She told him about her mutation, her past, her hateful parents and her lack of social reaction. She wanted him to talk to her as well but he insisted for her to continue whenever she'd try to stop speaking. Alex assumed that he enjoyed the company.

Of course, she never saw much of him after that until he was captured for a second time. She saw him once more, just before returning to Asgard with his brother and the Tesseract. Alex wanted more than anything to go back with them. Not only for simply wanting to be on the same realm with Loki but to be in Asgard, among the gods she had idolized.

That's why she teamed up with Jane. She knew that the woman was desperately searching for Thor. Alex thought this to be the perfect opportunity to finally go to Asgard. To see Loki.

When Thor had come back and took Jane to Asgard, Alex couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. Stay calm, she told herself, you'll get your chance. Remain patient.

Alex turned as she heard the door open and in came Jane and Thor. The greetings came and then Thor said something that made her heart stop.

She hesitated. "What?" She asked, her voice cracking slightly.

"Loki… is dead."

Silence. She didn't know what to think. A man, a god she had only gotten to know for a short while and yet… she felt like this.

"That… no…" Before she could catch herself, tears began to poor down her pale cheeks. "No! You're lying! He's not dead! He can't be!"

Alex began to yell hysterically. "He can't- No!" She turned away from Jane as she tried to rest a comforting hand on her shoulder. She couldn't stop her mutation as it slowly began to activate. The deathly black color began at her finger tips and made their way up her arms, her veins in her neck and face had also turned black along with the veins in her right eye.

"No…" she cried, grabbing her head with her blackened hands. She didn't want to be there. She wished she had never heard those words. That Loki…. That Loki was dead. She shouldn't have nurtured that crush of hers like the way she did. It wouldn't have hurt so much. She had no right to sob over him like this but she couldn't stop. She had fallen for a man she only knew for a single night.

She grabbed at her chest but she knew her powers couldn't work on herself, no matter how much she wanted die along with him, the god she had always read about, who had been her glimpse of hope in all of those troubled years, whose eyes had made her heart skip, who listened to her life story… was gone. He had died thinking that everyone hated him, that no one cared. He died alone in the world.

Thor grabbed her, not caring for her deathly mutation, and pulled her into a tight hug, trying to contain himself as the woman cried for his brother. He had some idea that she fancied his brother but nothing like this. The God of Thunder did not realize that the woman had fallen in love with his mischievous kin.

That's why Thor took Alex back with him after the battle. He figured that she at least deserved that much. And even thought she was amazed and happy to be in Asgard, he could still see the agonizing pain behind her eyes.

{{Prologues are meant to be short. Expect Ch. 1 Really soon. It's called "With the Flow" }}


	2. Chapter 1 A shoulder to cry on

**"Shoulder to Cry On"**

Asgard. It was beautiful. You could always see the stars and the palace had a perfect view of the Bifrost. Thor had returned to Midgard to be with Jane for the time being and I felt like I was home. But, at the same time, it felt like this home was empty and despite all the passing faces, I felt alone. What made it worse was the fact that I was allowed to stay in Loki's old room instead of staying in my own. Though, it's not like they knew how infatuated I was.

Odin had come in a couple of times to remove some of Loki's things and I had to bite my tongue. I wanted to protest. I wanted him to leave Loki's things alone. I still refused to completely believe that he was dead. I still couldn't believe that I had fallen so deeply for him. It was utterly preposterous for me to feel this way. But, no matter how hard I had tried, I came to learn that you can't control who you love and sometimes, it just happens and there's nothing you can do.

It had only been three days since I came to Asgard. Every morning, I was greeted by warm tears sliding down my cheeks. The crying got worse each morning, so far. It really didn't help that I was surrounded by all his belongs. I'd sit up and look around me and only cry harder. It was the fourth morning when my pathetic sobbing had drawn the attention of a knock on the door.

"Alexandria?" Came Fandral's voice. "Are you alright?"

I sniffled and quickly tried to stop my blubbering. "Y-Yes," I regretfully stuttered.

"May I come in?"

I didn't know Asgardian customs and didn't know if seeing a woman in her silk night gown was a bad thing or not but I couldn't care less. I was mostly worried about looking like a fool. It wouldn't be the first time Fandral had seen me crying over Loki. He never commented on my sorrow for Loki. I knew he didn't understand _why_ I felt the way I did, hell, I didn't even know that. I just needed someone to comfort me.

"Come in," I said as clearly as I could.

Fandral opened the door cautiously and he hesitated for just a moment at the door as he took the sight of me in. My hair was a mess, I knew. My eyes were red and tear stained and my silk dress draped off my shoulder. I glanced at the blond haired Æsir and quickly looked away. Gods, how I hated crying in front of others. He sat on the edge of the bed beside me, awkwardly silent for a couple of second. Who could blame him? I was crying for the villain.

After a moment, he said, "would you like to go to breakfast together? I could give you a tour of the city afterwards. You look like you could use some fresh air."

I smiled as my crying slowly began to cease and I wiped the tears from my eyes. "That sounds good. Sure. Just let me get dressed first."

Fandral seemed very nice. Besides, getting out and getting my mind off of you know who (not Voldemort) would be very healthy and good for my sanity. Also, why would I miss out on seeing the rest of the city? I've been almost everywhere in the palace. Asgard was my new home and I need to learn every bit of it.

I kind of missed my old mortal clothes but Asgardian where wasn't that bad honestly. Some was a bit thick and hot but I was lucky enough to swing for the lighter clothes so I wouldn't melt into a puddle. I through something light on, baby blue in color and met Fandral outside of the room.

"I'm starving," I said with a smile as I shut the door behind me.

Fandral chuckled. "Good. To the dining hall?" He offered his arm all fancy-like and a slipped my arm through his.

Of course, the dining hall was fucking huge and crowded yet not as crowded as normal. We were a bit late for breakfast so it was more of a brunch thing. Volstag was pigging out as always, Sif looking at him like she was expecting him to burst with the amount of food he had already ingested. I sat down and grabbed whatever I found delicious. Well, actually, that's a lie. Everything looked delicious. I grabbed whatever would fit on my plate and sat down directly across from Volstag, Fandral taking his place to the left of me.

"You sure you can finish all that?" Asked Fandral with a laugh.

I smirked. "Shut up. I'm hungry." And with that, I dug in.

Normally, I'm a slow eater. However, Volstag was already rubbing off on me. I finished a couple of minutes after he did and shortly after, Fandral took me on the tour of the city that he had promised me. He told me about its history, its culture, commented on monuments. It was a lot like a normal city without all of the pollution, the smell and the assholes. Fandral introduced me to a couple of people he knew. He made sure that I always had a smile on my face. And when I started to think of Loki and a frown would start to overrun my face, he'd give me a playful poke in the side, grab my hand and with a smile, he'd drag me off somewhere saying "I want to show you something."

The tour ended with what we'd call a "community garden". It was breathtaking. Many foreign and strange plants and flowers surrounded us. It was like we were in an entirely different part of Asgard. It was breathtakingly gorgeous. Absolutely perfect.

"It's great, isn't it?" Asked Fandral, leaning towards me.

I smiled and nodded. "It's beautiful."

"This is my favorite part of the city. It's where I can come to think if things get hectic in the palace. I'm glad it wasn't damaged during the attack," he said, walking down a small pathway, deeper into the garden.

We spent most of the afternoon there, parking ourselves on a bench next to bright flowers that closely resembled stargazer lilies.

"Have you seen Yggdrasil?" Fandral asked, looking up at the tree that was positioned in the center of a circular pathway that was in front of us.

I shook my head, staring at the same tree. "No, I haven't. Not in person. I've seen pictures in books here but never in person."

"I'll have to take you there sometime. It's in the palace. You'll never see anything like it."

"I wouldn't doubt it."

A short silence fell after that, and in that silence, my mind decided that it was the perfect time to think of those green eyes that haunt my dreams. I sighed and leaned forward, resting an elbow on my knee, my chin making its home on my palm.

"What's wrong?" Fandral asked, repositioning himself to better face me.

I shrugged. I didn't really want to share but Fandral pressed on.

"You can tell me," he said in a soft voice.

I looked at him, sitting up straight. "It's these dreams I've been having for the past couple of nights. I haven't gotten much sleep."

And then there was that look. The look he and the other three warriors gave me every time I brought it up. The look like I was insane. A look of judgment.

"Don't look at me like that," I said, slightly angered as a turned my gaze away from him as I scooted myself away.

Fandral placed a hand on my shoulder. "I don't mean to offend you but, why are you so upset of Loki's death? You said it yourself that you only knew him for a day."

I rubbed my forehead, sighing heavily. "I don't know. You try controlling how your heart decides to feel. Do you think that I _want_ to be miserable?" I shook my head before looking up at the sky then back to Fandral. "I just need something to distract me until I can get over it."

"I can't understand why you feel this way," Fandral said and I prepared myself for the judgment to follow. "But, if you ever need anything, if you ever want to rant or cry or scream, you know where to find me."

What? I thought. I was expecting some kind of insult like "I can't believe you could feel that way for a monster" or "You're insane" or "you're losing your fucking marbles." I wasn't expecting him to offer a helping hand. Yes, Fandral was very nice but I never thought he'd want to console Loki's secret admirer.

"Thank you," I said, looking into his honey brown eyes.

He smiled. "Do you want to head back to the palace?"

I shook my head. "Not really. I'd rather stay here for a bit longer."

"I was hoping you'd say that," said Fandral, lifting himself off of the bench to scoot himself closer to me. "Everything will be okay," he told me. "I promise you that."

-{Fandral's POV}-

I watched her as she stared out at the garden. She was beautiful, I had to admit. With her brown curls, blue eyes and pale skin, she fit in at the palace. She looked like a goddess. Alexandria was the essence of beauty and I had come to fancy her in our short time together. There was only one thing that I couldn't quite understand. I couldn't understand why she felt the way she did about Loki. She acted as if she had loved him for many years and morning for him like a wife would and yet, they were nothing more than strangers.

We sat there together for a few more minutes. The time passed to quickly and before I knew it, she was standing in front of me.

"You ready?" She asked in her Midgardian accent with that hint of what she called "Texan slang." I couldn't help but smile at her short height as I stood.

"As ready as I'll ever be." That made her giggle.

"That's what I say," she stated as she turned and walked on, I being at her side.

Back at the palace, I took my time escorting her to her room, what used to be that devil of a god Loki's room. I despised him but now, I'm not entirely sure that he was completely evil. Alexandria must have had some reason to have affection for him.

Once again, time passed to quickly and I found myself standing in front of her bedroom door in silence. She stared down at the floor, looking quite miserable.

Before I could speak, she said, "I don't want to go in there." Alexandria's blue eyes met with mine and there was no doubt that that was the last thing she wanted to do at that moment.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked her, unsure of what to do.

She shrugged. "I want to-"

"Alexandria," came a familiar, booming voice. The Allfather. I turned to face him and respectfully kneeled, a fist placed over my heart.

Alexandria answered him with a confused "yes".

"I need to discuss something with you but you have been missing since this morning," boomed Odin.

"That would be my fault," I confessed, standing. "I took her on a tour of the city. We were in the garden for the past hour."

"It was beautiful," Alexandria confirmed, looking back at me for a moment, causing my heart to stutter. I don't think anything could compare to her beauty.

"Well," began the Allfather. "If you'd be so kind as to follow me."

Without another word, Odin turned, expecting her to follow. She seemed reluctant to leave and that pleased me. It showed that she enjoyed my company but to my ill fortune, she left, following the king. I couldn't imagine what Odin would want to discuss but I'm sure it had to have been important.

I stood there, watching her as she walked away until she was out of my sight. I'll find some way to ease her sorrow. She may have loved a man I hated but she was a good woman. She had a caring heart. And oddly, I wanted to win her affections. I had to be there for her, no matter how much her sorrow confused me.

I thought back to that morning when I saw her in her white night gown with her hair slightly raveled. It was an image I never wanted to forget. The sleeve of her dress was slid down, exposing her bare shoulder and flawless skin. I caught myself secretly wishing that I had the chance to wake in the morning beside her and ravish her. It was only a moment's thought but it had followed me throughout the day.

I let out a sigh and walked in the direction of my quarters. I had to get a hold of myself and shake these thoughts before I acted upon them.

-{{Stay tuned for ch2!}}-


	3. Chapter 2 Peak Of Envy

{{Side note: Thank you people who have read and favorited this story! I'm glad you enjoy it. Feel free to message me what you think and what you like about it (or what you don't like)! I appreciate the views. I'll try to post at least a chapter a day to entertain you. Also, keep in mind that XMen, mutants and Thor are all in the same universe. Another thing, her abilities might seem a bit far-fetched to some people. Minus the whole mutation ability, I am capable of Alex's talents in real life. It's not all bull shit. I molded Alex after myself so she would be believable.}}

**"Peak of Envy"**

I followed Odin without a clue of what he would want to discuss. I hoped he wouldn't send me back to that god forsaken planet I grew up on. I was entirely alone down there. I hardly had any friends and the ones I did have were always too busy for me. Society hated my existence as a mutant and I had been shunned virtually my entire life. I had no job and no family that actually cared besides my aunt and uncle. I knew they'd understand though if they knew where I was. This was the only place that I fit in even the slightest. I wasn't even entirely mortal to begin with. My "powers," this mutation, this curse… whoever I kill with it, I take the years they would have lived. Those years are stacked on top of mine. I age slower than normal because of this. It's partially the reason why I still look like an older teenager than the twenty four years that I am.

I thought of Loki again. I knew that I had to get him out of my mind. I had to get over him. He was gone. A man I knew for less than a day was gone and there was nothing I could do about it. It was foolish to cling to a man I did not know. Even if he appeared to be flawless, even if his eyes were such a beautiful green that they put me in a trance, even if those eyes showed pain and loneliness, I had to forget it. It was for the best.

I found myself in the throne room as Odin sat himself up on his mighty chair. He looked at me for a moment before speaking. "You seem to be making yourself at home," he said.

I nodded. "I am. Asgard is beautiful. It's hard to believe that I'm truly here." I tried to be as polite as possible, careful of each word that came out of my mouth. I was extremely nervous. I hadn't exactly been invited to stay here and Odin could have any reason to send me back where I came.

"I am glad you've enjoyed your time here. However, I'm having a hard decision on whether or not you should stay."

His words pierced me deep. "What could I do to convince you that I am worthy of staying?"

Odin's one eye stared deep into my eyes, thinking. I remained silent in respect and anticipation. I was determined to do anything to stay. I have believed in the Norse gods for so long and now that I was face to face with them all, standing in Asgard, I did not want to leave. I was not a completely normal or a weak human girl. I was a mutant with the ability to kill with a single blow to the chest. I was skilled with hand to hand combat, could wield a sword and worked well with long range weapons. I was strong, not taking in my current mental state over the God of Mischief. I could handle myself in this alien world. I was more than willing to prove my worth.

{{Odin/Loki's POV}}

As I looked into the eyes of the woman I had met that night while I was "prisoner" on SHIELDs flying fortress, I ignored her question. She, out of everyone had mourned me. I heard her cry out in her sleep. I saw her weep, looking out over the Bifrost in the early morning, unable to sleep. I couldn't bring myself to understand her pain. Why had this mortal girl mourned? Was I not but a stranger? Even so, as much as I would hate to admit, her sorrow touched me. I could see it in her eyes that she cared. But I could not see why. I would have to find some way to find this out for myself.

"I've also come to understand that you are having trouble getting rest," I spoke to her.

She averted her eyes, taking more interest in a pillar on the other side of the room. "Jet lag," she said, lying.

"You needn't lie." I had yet to understand how I felt about the situation. I had other things to be preoccupied with such as keeping up my façade as my "father" while I brought his precious world to its knees. Yet, I found myself taking in the sight of how her thick, brown hair curled around her shoulders, how her eyes shone as she bit back her tears as the thought of my death. I noticed the way she crossed her arms in an attempt to hide herself from the truth.

"Look," she said, reaching a hand upwards to rub her forehead which I have noted as a nervous tick she possessed before she returned to her cross-armed stature. "I…" She sighed, a tear beginning to show itself at the corner of her grey eyes. "I can't control it. I try but I just can't. I knew him for such a short time but I felt something then. I know to everyone else I seem foolish. Shit, I think I look foolish but I can't stop. I hear people speak ill of him and… and his death and I hate them for it. I would have punched Sif square in the throat if I weren't so sure she could beat my ass, excuse my profanity. I suppose it's partially my fault for my hysteria. I shouldn't have nurtured my infatuation with him. But you know what? At least _someone_ cared. I know Thor mourns. But everyone else? They act as if he were nothing more than a burden. Loki might have had his moments and he might have been in the wrong for wanting to take over Midgard. I wish I could move on and forget but he's always there, digging into the back of my mind like a leach! A beautiful, lonely leach."

I remained silent as she continued on, pouring out her thoughts. Her words grew faster and closer together, her voice cracking halfway through her speech. I didn't know how to respond. It was hard to remain in character, posing as Odin while I listened, dumb founded by her attraction to me.

Alex took a deep breath before continuing. "I don't know why but I fell in love with him before I could stop myself. I fell in love with someone I didn't know and before I even got a chance to see him for a second time, he was ripped out of this world, this universe without anyone knowing _how_ he died. Thor told me how he sacrificed himself. He died a noble death but alone."

{{Alex's POV}}

I bit my tongue before I could say anymore. It was embarrassing to reveal so much. I had hoped to avoid speaking of Loki but Odin had asked and he had gotten the truth. He asked for it and I gave it. And before he could speak on my confession, I said one more thing. "I know I seem insane. I know that my feelings for him are hard to understand to the point I can't understand it myself. But, you try controlling who you love. You try to control the way your heart reacts in the presence of the man whose stories have touched you since you were a child. I can't control it and no one else can. Shit happens whether you like it or not."

{{Loki's POV}}

I watched her in silence after she had finished. Her teeth were clenched and I knew she was choking back her tears. Alex wanted to cry but refused to give in in front of me. Well, in front of my father. Perhaps she didn't want to seem weak. Or perhaps she was trying to be strong in my memory, in the memory she had of me.

I hadn't spoken much that night as she sat with her back pressed against the glass of my prison. I sat on the other side, my back just opposite of hers. She talked of her past. She talked of almost everything. I listened, my eyes closed. I understood that she had felt true misery in her past that she could not forget. She regretted the things she had done and knew it was too late to change her past. Even then, with her delicate yet strong voice and her small frame, I thought she was beautiful, just as I did now as she stood in front of me as a tear escaped from her gentle eyes.

"I do not think you are insane, as you put it," I told her, once again putting on my façade. "I believe that you are heart broken. I also believe what you felt for Loki is something I don't understand. However, I do not doubt your intentions. As far as your stay here, I will allow it unless something is to change my mind. Is that understood?"

{{Alex's POV}}

I looked at him as he spoke and I nodded. "Understood."

I was then dismissed shortly after. There wasn't much that was on my mind after that. It was relieving to rant out my feelings yet slightly awkward that I had done so to Loki's dad, out of everyone. I still had an hour until dinner was served and decided to spend that time wandering about. Part of me wanted to find Fandral. He always managed to put a smile on my face but I didn't want to disturb him if he were busy. If I was lucky, I'd stumble upon him.

{{Loki's POV}}

As soon as Alex had left, closing the doors behind her, I dropped my illusion. My heart was beating rapidly and I knew exactly why. Alex's presence for some reason made me nervous. It's not that I found her to be intimidating in a threatening way. I was nervous. She excited me and I intended to fully understand why that was and how it is that she could have fallen for me but in order to do so, I would have to get closer to her. I would have to put up another façade to gain her trust and to understand her. However, I have to be sure that I do not stray from my main goal, no matter how much my curiosity gets the better of me.

There was another thing that I've noticed. It was Fandral, one of Thor's dear friends. It was painfully obvious that he fancied her and they have been spending an increasingly amount of time together. I felt a growing hatred for the man. I knew it was envy. I envied his time with her. I knew not why I felt jealous of the fool but my heart did. I could stand on the same level as Alex. After the time I had spent in my imprisonment on Asgard, she was often on my mind. I thought of the way she first laid eyes on me. I thought of the way her eyes stared at me in wonder, in admiration. I had become infatuated with her just as she had with me. I longed for her company in that prison. Just as I long for her now. And there was no way that I'd let Fandral stand in between her and I.

-{{Short chapter (this is short for me). Sorry 'bout that. It's like, 2am here. But, I'm in college and tomorrow's Friday. So, what better to do than write fanfics and wait for McGriddle time at McDonald's? I hope you enjoyed this short little tid bit. Uploading the third chapter sometime later tonight…. This morning? I dunno…. College is full of bad decisions kids. You won't sleep at all. Anyway! Comment! Message! Favorite! Read more. What is life? Sorry… I'm delusional right now. So tired. SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK. Some Fandral sweetness is coming up in the next chapter and Loki's got a new face! I just burped… like a Viking…. I'm serious…. It was loud enough to violate quiet hours…}}-


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